Do I Really Have to Check that Box on Forms that Says “Divorced”?

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Don’t you sometimes wish that on top of all the standard answers to that question the, “it’s complicated” option was available…just like on Facebook?

 

Faced with the option to check that “divorced” box can open up a can of emotional worms we aren’t ready to face. Even Miss Manners herself disagrees with labeling a woman a “divorcee forever, while the former husband immediately reverts to being a bachelor”.

This is what Miss Manners had to say on the topic in The Press Democrat on August 29th, 2008

Dear Miss Manners: On a job application or any application, when does one check the divorced box versus the single one? I say you’re divorced for one year and check the divorced box, then you are to check the single box. One can’t be divorced forever. Some people with kids prefer to use the divorced box, but one should use the single box if one is single.

Gentle Reader: The rule you propose is better than the common practice, Miss Manners admits — the one by which a formerly married lady is called a divorcee forever, while the former husband immediately reverts to being a bachelor. 

Still, you don’t get to make up the rules. Well, socially, you do. But even Miss Manners does not get to mess with legal terms. If you tire of being single and are asked your status on a marriage license application, she is afraid that you have to come clean.”

While Miss Manners makes some reasonable arguments on the topic, we feel that your well-being come first and foremost! If checking “divorced” unleashes the beast of emotional baggage, do yourself a favor and check “single”. One word of caution, check “single” at your discretion when it comes to job applications and legal documents.

We love to hear from you. Tweet us at @cindergirls and let us know hat box you usually check.

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Cinder Without Her Fella

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A Woman's Financial Guide To Divorce